Here comes the bride

There are new expectations for weddings, in particular what the
guests get out of it. Matt and I went to one of his team's weddings on
Saturday, and it was a spectacle. The invitation came in a beautiful
scroll with ribbons and flowers.
The ceremony was at 10.30 and the reception
at 1.00. We'd been warned that the
ceremony could take a while (and the
bride's father was the minister), so we
decided to just go to the reception
- quite standard practice. As the wedding
got closer, Matt kept coming home
with new information. So we knew to give money
as a present, we'd be the
only palagi there, there would be no alcohol except
for toasts and there
would be 500 people at the reception!

It was a stinking hot day, and we (with David and Sue) arrived at the school gymnasium (thankfully with just a roof and open sides) at 12.45. Sue and I were the only ladies not in puletasi (the matching skirts and tops all the ladies wear) but David and Matt had on their aloha shirts. The tables were arranged in a giant horseshoe, with seats only on one side of the table, all facing inwards. The decorations. My goodness. There was a banner with a photo of the couple and good wishes, the ribbons were all printed with the names and date, every tablecloth was screenprinted with the names and date, on the tables were engraved coconut shells filled with lollies. And the cakes on the dias. Not one, not two, but 29 cakes were arranged on tiers. These were to go with the 29 female attendants and 29 male attendants. I guess 60 (including the couple) is a nice round number! So's 4!

So we sat fanning ourselves, gulping water, for an hour, listening to the band play a mixture of traditional music and rock n roll standards very loudly, before the attendants started parading in which took 10 minutes. The bride wore a heavy white meringue and the groom looked very tired in a suit jacket. The attendants were in white and pale lime green, and looked very pretty.

I think there was an opening speech, but it was all in Samoan, so he may have been saying Don't eat too much for all I know. Fat chance. Then the food started coming in.

A note on the operational side. These families know how to run an event. Every female between 10 and 70 and every male between 10 and 40 was outfitted in the village colours and they ran. Delivering drinks to everyone, picking up cans, giving everyone their own individual tray of fo0d twice not to mention cooking and preparing every thing. There were a couple of matriarchs running the show, and you didn't mess with them.

We all had salads, tuna and rolls to begin with, which was a nice light snack. Then the trays came. We've had these before at the 1st birthday party, so it was with dread as we watched them being delivered, hoping that maybe this time we could share. But no. Imagine a sectioned tray the size of a bike tyre. On each tray there is a lamb chop, two chicken thighs, some octopus, a hunk of pork, a piece of battered fish, some breadfruit, and some taro. All luke warm and tasting of bbq and not much else. And there's 500 of these.

After everyone had picked at their food (usually you just have a nibble then take it home), the gift giving started. Now in NZ, guests give the bride and groom presents. But we've seen the other side, and I tell you, we have new expectations. It took well over an hour for every high chief, village chief, respected elder and bank manager to be given their presents. The matriarchs organised the young ones from the two villages (the bride and groom's) to run in with a collection of fine mats, a box of crackers, a big tin and a tray of tins of corned beef, and a can of soda with a dollar note stuck to the top. We did have fun trying to guess the significance of all this: general wealth and plentitude I guess. When we realised that we were going to be included in all of this, there were some horrified looks at each other, wondering what on earth we were going to do with 12 fine mats. David rang Pati, the guru to all things Samoan, and he said keep them, but I think we're supposed to give them back to anyone who we give a gift to. One friend said her father (a chief) had a room full of them, all still wrapped up, and they just get rotated around the island. Or not - guess what everyone's getting for Christmas.

By this stage, we were muttering about going to the Equator for a beer, and Sue and I had checked out all the pule tasi and designed our own for the Christmas party. Finally, it was time for some attention to be given to the bride and groom. There's this song that's like the Samoan version of Ten Guitars; everyone knows it and it's played everywhere you go. Or at this wedding, 6 times in a row. The band plays the intro, everyone starts whooping, the bride gets up and starts dancing, the groom and the male attendants start swaying and clapping in the background, and some people get up and dance too, throwing money at the bride. Honestly, 6 times in a row. The band timed it beautifully, so the bride would just get herself an inch from sitting down, and she'd have to get up again. I think it was all the different family groups who would have their own dance. There wasn't an ANZ group, although we were half expecting one. By this time, the bride's in her second dress. Each family gives her a wedding dress, and she wears one for the ceremony and one for the reception. Another beautiful satin number.

I hadn't considered the best ratio of cakes to bridesmaids at a wedding before, but 29 to 29 worked beautifully. A couple of the senior attendants cut the base cakes into pieces, and the others delivered the cakes to the same respected guests who had the other presents. So we got a cake too.

That was pretty much the end, and we were all fairly hot and tired. It had been a lovely afternoon, and we felt very honoured. The whole "It's all about me (the bride)" attitude would not go down very well here at all. It's much more about the wealth and position of the families, to be able to show what good stock the couple come from, and to show their respect for others in the community. I hope the bride and groom have a nice honeymoon though - it was a marathon event.

I forgot the pigs! As the gift giving was going on, 7 whole roast pigs, whole as in with heads, tails, four legs, were carried through the gym. No idea where they went, but we had visions of one being tied on to the roof of the car when we went out! Now that would have been a photo ...