The award goes to ...

Well, it's almost been a month, and it's time to do Sharyn's pick of the bunch.

Most relief: Meeting with Taine's teacher today and getting a report that says he's doing really well, reading well above his age and settling in with all the other kids. She also commented (very, very loudly - she's from Texas) on how he was a role model for the other kids for sitting properly and listening carefully. No, never seen that child before.

Feeling stupid 1: But she commented on his maths that he hadn't come across some of the concepts like AB patterns and sorting. What's an AB pattern we both asked? (Blue, red, blue red as opposed to ABB blue, red, red and ABC blue, red, yellow, blue, red ...) Would explain why Taine spends hours (well, it seems like it when you're supervising) colouring/coloring squares on his maths worksheets. They're even doing graphs!

Best adrenalin rush: driving the mighty 8 seater Nissan Pathfinder through huge puddles that come up to the doors, on the wrong side of the road, bouncing over potholes. It's not really even the wrong side of the road, as if there's a puddle or a pothole (90% ofthe road) you just drive round it, even it that takes you to the other side. The other cars just wait. The trick is to not splash the beautifully dressed locals walking to church at the same time. There's a reason the speed limit is only 25mph here.

It's starting to feel like home 1: buying the desk and chair for Sharyn's Scrapbooking Studio and working out where I'm going to put all my bits and pieces. It's going upstairs in the spare bedroom, so that the GUEST SUITE is left free. Did I mention the GUEST SUITE has its own bathroom and walk-in wardrobe? And air-con and a fan? And a deck?

Fraudster of the month: Moving my book, Sudoku and coffee from room to room to avoid getting in the way of the housekeeper. Twice a week, no less. Last week, she ironed everything in our wardrobes.

Some things never change 1: I've started going to yoga, and I reckon I have a quarter of the flexibility of the other 2 in the class. It sure aint graceful when I go into Downward Dog.

Feeling stupid 2: having to be shown how to fill out a cheque/check by the nice lady at Cost U Less. They have an extra line!!! How was I supposed to know what to put on it?

Feeling stupid 3: asking in 3 different shops for hair bobbles, or even hair ties and getting shown to completely different products each time. What else do you call them?

It's starting to feel like home 2: I didn't come last at Mah Jong on Monday. I even could add up my own score.

Crisis of the month /Feeling stupid 4: Thinking, no knowing, there was something moving in the car, while I was in it. I burst into tears at the school, so another nice Kiwi mum searched under the seat for me. It must have scampered away while I had the door open. She even pretended that a frog could possibly have clambered up from the tyres/tires while Matt was at soccer.

Decision of the month: it is pointless to plan a menu for the week then go and get the ingredients, like all the domestic goddess books say to do. Here, you have to go to the first shop, look at their produce, look at their meat, end up in front of the frozen corn dogs, go the second shop, and so on (I think that's an ABC pattern). I was getting very frustrated and depressed not being able to do proper meals, but now I'll just have to go shopping every day. Matt did a beautiful chili squid at the weekend, so it is possible.

Party of the month / Odd bureaucracy: there's only been one, but Taine had a great time. One of his class mates' 6 birthday at McDonalds. In line with school policy, and yes, this is actually in the information we got, everyone in the class was invited to the party. You can invite all the boys, all the girls or the whole class if you give out the invitations at school. If you want to be choosy, you need to email or phone instead.

Feeling stupid 5: I felt this in sympathy. I'd noticed that the petrol gauge in the car didn't seem to be moving, but I had to go into Pago to fill it. Matt took the car to transport the visitors with the ANZ Head guy last week (I think I wrote he'd been cleaning it last time). And of course, it conked out a mile down the road, with the HR Head and a couple of others in the car. Matt tried to call people on his phone, no one answered, but luckily someone from the branc driving down the road saw him. See there are advantages to everyone knowing who you are! Matt was rather annoyed.

Fraudster of the month 2: Matt was in the paper twice on one day last week. "Matthew" was seen holding a gift given to the big guy, in his lovely staff floral shirt, and then was in the sports pages dribbling the ball during a soccer game. I think he was dribbling, but his arms were at funny angles and he had his cheeks puffed out. We're going to go watch him tomorrow. They play 3 times a week, but the season only goes for a month. That seems to be typical.

Some things never change 2: so many channels, nothing to watch. There are endless marathons of Top Chef, Real Housewives, Extreme Home Makeover and Wife Swap. Will and Grace and Frasier are on for an hour every night. I miss the Living Channel! There's no guide to what's on, and the programmes are 2 weeks and 3 hours out. The Oscars just happened three days ago and the 9oclock movies start at 6. They're advertising for programmes coming up on 3 March. We do get One News every night (at 7), the odd Super 14 game if anyone on island has paid for it and some Australian news channel. Some news is current, and some is old.

OK, normal stuff now. We're still thinking about what to do for the long, long summer holiday. Taine's birthday is the first day of the break (big hint for grandparents), and if there are going to be parties in June we may come back to NZ then for a bit. If you're planning on coming over to stay in the GUEST SUITE, then let us know and we'll roll out the red carpet!

Hope everyone's good. We are.